New Year is approaching and I am guessing that some of you may be thinking of making changes to your way of living.
How often have you “tried” to stop something?
We hear it all the time..
“I am trying to stop smoking”
“I am trying to stay off the drink”
“I am trying to cut down on the chocolate”
“ I am trying to get fit”
Can you not feel the hesitation in those words?
Trying implies struggle and hesitation. A division within the self, one part wanting this and the other wanting that.
Someone who is “trying” to stop drinking is often social with other drinkers. When they share such a statement it is natural for their kindly peers to feel that hesitation and discomfort, leading them to be more likely to question and coax their friend to give up the struggle and relax a little.
The first step towards real change is a decision made with absolute certainty. A statement compelling enough that it literally becomes your new identity and pulls you forward into a new way of living.
Feel into the energy of the next few statements..
“ I don’t drink”
“ I don’t smoke”
“ I am a runner”
“I don’t eat chocolate”
A statement that is founded in certainty will always be respected, both by others but more importantly by yourself.
Something else I see a lot of at this time of year is people trying to remove their best known survival strategy for coping with or dealing with pain and discomfort.
Too much focus is spent on the coping mechanism being the problem and not the root cause of the problem.
This is another avoidance strategy, causing only longer lasting turbulence.
Embrace. Observe. Comprehend. Transcend.
If you were a client of mine I would create the space for you to dig deep into what it is exactly that is pushing you towards such behaviour.
This is largely caused by unresolved emotional issues in the past, ranging from our childhood right up until this present day where another common cause of such behaviour is simply our current situation. Whether it be an unhealthy relationship, an un-passionate or highly stressful job role or lack of direction and purpose.
By resolving issues from the past and/or removing the heaviness from our current situation we grant ourselves space and opportunity to reconsider the purpose of the old survival strategy.
Our everyday habits may seem small in the moment but in time ripples certainly create waves.
Visualise yourself, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 10 years from now, following the path of where your old habit may take you. Bringing attention to what you see but more importantly just how exactly it is you are feeling during and at the end of that journey.
Now visualise yourself, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, 10 years from now, following the path of where your decision for positive change may take you. Notice that sense of certainty feels and what it is like to reclaim your sovereignty from that old undesirable habit. Bringing to your awareness all of the possible opportunities that will unfold as you grow with certainty and a strong feeling of being capable. Whilst again bringing attention to what you see and just how exactly it is you are feeling during and at the end of that journey.
What looks and feels more compelling? The choice is always yours to make now in this moment.
Something else which I hear a lot of is.. “When new year comes I will stop …. “drinking.”
Tomorrow never comes with that kind of attitude.
It instead suggests avoidance, separation and lack of ownership.
And stepping into the new year drunk, stinking of smoke, feeling groggy from the chocolate or lack of exercise is no way to start the new year ahead if it is not the way you truly wish to move forward.
If by now you are absolutely certain about your new decision. It can be made now in this very moment.
The celebrations on New Year’s Eve are climatic and rather significant.
If you make the decision now and face such an event of new becoming’s with the certainty of your new choices and way of living you are not only moving forward into the New Year as you wish to continue but that such experiences of achievement are essential for strengthening and reinforcing your new sense of life and identity. It will be a moment of proof for yourself that you are capable and a boost in momentum!
Burst the bubble!
Smokers tend to socialise with other smokers.
Drinkers socialise with drinkers.
And bikers socialise with other bikers
Just like people with a positive mindset gravitate and attract others with a similar mindset.
As social beings we adapt to the tribe. Those who we spend time with have an effect on how we perceive ourselves and the world.
Perhaps 2018 is the year you explore a new pocket of existence. Joining a group which is aligned with your deeper desires and making new friends in that area of life may perhaps give you the structure, relief, support and the new perspectives needed to replace the temptations of your undesirable old ways.
I offer 1-to-1 Personal Development coaching and NLP breakthrough therapy sessions via Skype.
Brian was a smoker of 23 years and is now living life as a non smoker since our 1-to-1 breakthrough session together.
If you personally feel drawn towards making connection with me I warmly welcome you to send me an email.
Peace to all. May all beings be happy x